Petrified Heart
by jory014
Summary: Love is like a double-edged sword It either heals Or Inflicts more pain. Let's see what love can do to a certain brunette... NOTE: CERTAINLY NOT YAOI
1. Petrified Heart

HI GUYS!!! C:

THIS IS ANOTHER ONE SHOT I MADE AND I HOPE YOU GUYS WOULD ENJOY IT!!!C:

BY THE WAY I HOPE YOU GUYS WOULD ALSO READ MY ON GOING STORY THE LIGHT OF MY LIGHT (THE SERIES) C:

* * *

**Petrified Heart **

_Love is like a double-edged sword_

_It either heals_

_Or _

_Inflicts more pain._

_

* * *

_

As long as I remember...

I never knew...

What to feel...

How to feel...

Emotion was a thing that I never understand. Even if you die right in front of me right now, I'll still not care... And all of that changed on that fateful day.

It was in the start of a new school year, when I transferred to this school called, Gakuen Alice. Young and naive, especially to the topics of love and care.

"Okay, class we have a new student here!" said a blond dude with amethyst orbs. "Please introduce yourself Mikan-chan... and tell us something about yourself..."

"Good morning..." I said with a dull voice at the same time stammering due to shyness as a light blush crept to my cheeks. "My-my name's Sakura Mikan...and I'm very good in music..."

"Okay!!!" he said as he putted his hands on my shoulders..." Now, you'll be seated beside Natsume-kun...the raven-haired guy beside the boy with a bunny on his lap." Then I quietly made my seat and not mind the glares of the other girls in the class as if I cared. At those times, I really don't have friends, except for Imai Hotaru whom I never talked to ever since we separated when we were 9...and its been 4 years.

"Hey..." said the boy with the manga on his face. "So ummm...Mikan, right?" he said as he took off the manga. He was down-right handsome, as his beautiful ruby eyes, matched his cool features, but I don't just get swept of my feet that easily because he was handsome. But, I'm sure my shyness got over me as a light tint of pink appeared on my face, since I'm not used to engaging in conversation, especially guys.

"Yeah...and you're Natsume right?" I said still with a cold voice. I may be apathetic, but it wasn't a good reason enough for me to ignore people, nor be nice and befriend them.

"Yeah..." he replied. "Nice meeting you ..." he said as he flashed me a small smile, almost unnoticeable. This smile, that was rarely seen by other people, a smile that was meant for me, never failed to warm my heart.

* * *

At first we really didn't get along well, I sworn to God ever since we talked, we became sworn enemies. But, as much as I can, I tried to ignore him... and SO NOT TALK TO HIM.

"You're so not pretty..." he said coldly as he tried to irritate me during Jinno's class so I can make a ruckus to get myself to trouble. "My past crush Luna is better looking than you!"

"AS IF I CARE..." I mustered quietly as possible while I emphasize those blunt words. " You're not even handsome as you think you are dumb ass..."

"Whatever... you nerdy bookworm..."

"NERDY?! I admit I'm a bookworm since I love books but at least I'm not some manga-freak like you... I might tell my friend to help you join a cosplay? How's that?"

**Ribbit Croak Ribbit Crackle**

"Hyuuga... Sakura..." said the cold teacher looking sternly at us." Care to share something in class?"

"This is your fault Hyuuga..." I said as I kicked him under the table.

"If it wasn't for your loud and irritating voice, we wouldn't have to end up in this situation..." he said as returned my kick.

"My voice?!" I said slapped his hand that was lying beside me. " You're the one with the loud voice, you even make my ears bleed!"

"HYUUGA... SAKURA... DETENTION..." Jinno said unhesitatingly as he resumed his class.

"This is totally your fault, Hyuuga..." I said with hate and disdain in my voice.

"Oh, really? But you're the one who started kicking..."

"But you're the one who started it!..." we barely talk... but if we do talk to each other, its always world war...until the day came that his best friend Ruka fell for me. One of the most surprising moments in my life. I really didn't get to talk to the person since I'm always secluded with my friend Hotaru secretly. It happened as we went to Central Town.

* * *

It was my first time to buy fluff pluffs, it really made me happy as I ate ever bite of that soft, taffy-like, cotton-like, uber sweet candy as it melted in my mouth. We were on my way home, Ruka was just a mere acquaintance, and I just feel like giving him and his friend Koko some... for helping me last time when we were grouped together along with his annoying best friend Hyuuga.

"Hey..." as said nearing to his direction as I held the box of fluff puffs on my hand. "Have some..." as I smiled to him. I never really flash a smile. It was rare for me to smile, unless its needed. But, this is a smile specially given to him for gratitude. As I scanned his face, blush crept up to his face while he gave me a nice gentle smile as well.

"Thanks..." he said as he took the fluff Puff.

"You can get one as well Koko..." I said as I passed him the box.

"Thanks Mikan!" he said as he consumed the whole thing in one bite. Then I turned my heels and went back to my best friend.

Two weeks passed, it was a normal day like any other, as me and Hotaru walked around the hallways of the middle school building. Until Kitsuneme, came flying around suddenly passing me a piece of paper. A paper that looks very old. Then he flew away again before I mustered a word.

Then as I opened the rolled paper, I was amazed to see a beautiful drawing of a house on the background, it was one of the most beautiful drawing I've seen and there was written a poem and I read it intently along with Hotaru.

**The Gift Of Knowing You**

There are gifts of many treasures  
For both the young and old,  
From the tiniest little trinkets  
To great boxes filled with gold.

But, put them all together  
And they could not stand in lieu,  
Of the greatest gift of all  
The gift of knowing you.

By: Nogi Ruka

"Oh, does Nogi have a crush on you or something?" my friend stated as I was in awe, of course still keeping my poker face as I glanced at every word written in this beautiful poem.

"Nah, I don't think so... maybe he's just gave that to me as a friend... don't you think so?" I said not really wanting to assume while my friend just rolled her eyes due to irritation. Then I carefully put the poem in my bag, and pulled my stoic friend. "Let's get back to class instead."

Ever since that day, Nogi-san, or should I say Ruka-kun, started passing notes with me. It was nonstop ever since first period he never stopped even if I tried to end the conversation already. It was easy to pass notes since we're in the same row only separated by his irritating best friend. He was very nice, but I still don't feel anything special to him though, because I never felt nor knew what love is. I know how to love a friend or a family but never as a lover. And I almost forgot, he never stopped giving me poems of different kinds, and it's all about love and friendship, he even draws a lot, while I pass him butterfly origamis in return. But as I said, never did I love him as a lover.

It really touched me, when I was alone, as I stared coldly at every human being pass down the academy grounds from the rooftop. I was feeling all alone, feeling hurt for the pain I'm feeling inflicted by my only friend in school Hotaru Imai, for leaving me hanging in the air, back stabbing me and humiliating me in class, just for money... I wanted to cry... but it never came out from my lifeless hazel orbs. I never knew how to cry...

"Hey..." said a familiar gentle voice, while I just ignored it. " What are you doing here alone in the rooftop?" he asked as he sat beside me along with his annoying best friend, Natsume. Ever since that day he stopped irritating me, and it really made me happy when it did.

"Nothing much..." I said with a stoic expression.

"You seem to have a problem..." he said trying hard to penetrate my high walls of apathy. "You can tell me..."

"Well.." I said giving up. "It's just my BEST FRIEND..." I mustered with pain in my voice as I emphasize the word best friend. "Well, she left me and destroyed me for the love of money... and now I don't have anyone..." I said not letting out any feeling.

"We can be your friend..."he said as he flashed me a great smile. "RIGHT NATSUME?" he said as he nudged his sleeping friend. While his friend shot his eyes wide open and replied with a, "uhhhh... YEAH!"

Then I smiled. A smile rarely seen on my face. As Ruka noticed he blushed and smiled at me as well, having them around really made me happy... the thought of Ruka never crossed my mind as I ignored the fact that he obviously likes me. Its not I'm dense, I just don't believe on assumptions but rather on facts, and definitely not signs.

Later on, me and Natsume finally talked... it wasn't like world war like it used to be, it was more like a decent conversation.

"So, what's up?" he said nonchalantly.

"Nothing really..." I replied the same way he asked.

"What are you reading anyway? You never stopped reading..." he said as his interest took in me surprise. He was never interested in me or anything it was surprising indeed. He usually teases me and irritates me so, or just NEVER-MINDING me.

"Well, I'm reading this book about theology, titled " Cat and Dog Theology" ...Its just interesting...on how it showed the characteristics of these animals can be seen on humans..." I said showing him the book with a front of a cat and a dog.

"Hmmm that's nice, By the way last time I saw you playing with a GBA...what do you usually play?" he asked me.

"I play, a lot of games, like Pokemon, Digimon and etc..." I replied.

"Oh, really, do you know when and where to catch this pokemon?" he asked as he pointed a picture from his manga. " I heard its very rare..."

"I really don't know sorry..." I said apologetically.

"How about this?" he said as he pointed to another one. While I replied the same answer, and his question almost became nonstop because he kept on asking and it irritated me.

"I'm SORRY..." I said with an irritated voice. " IF YOU WANT TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT THAT STUFF YOU SHOULD TALK TO HOTARU NOT ME..." I mustered with wrath as I continued to read my book while I let him face me back, ignoring him.

It really didn't really last long Until we got really close, we got along naturally. We talked about mostly the future, family, music and lots, we became very close friends, and I'm even more closer to him than his best friend who really tried to penetrate me.

Then one, funny day came... it was the week before the sports festival, as me and Natsume are usually grouped together. I really don't know the reason why but ever since I came to this school we're always together. We sit next to each other during class, the gay lord actually made him my partner, we belong in the same groups when it comes to every school activity and we NEVER separated, and now even at the sports festival we're still seatmates, I'm really wondering why the hell, are we always together. Its like God is telling me, that its destiny...Ewww.

So, after the meeting, he made his way to me. And all I did was greeted him as usual.

"Hey...sup?" I asked. Then from out of the blue, he just pinned me into the wall as he ruby orbs looked intenlty into my dull hazel orbs.

"I..." he mustered obviously with hardship. "I-I Love you, Mikan... I really really Love you..." he said. Which took me in surprise. His friend who first "liked" me as others said never had the courage to do that, neither did the people who "liked" me before never had the courage to come up to me and say I like you, I have a crush on you... and this guy didn't even hesitated and just said the words out loud... the words that could melt a heart warm..."I love you..." as said to be the most powerful words a man could muster. I really don't know what to say, nor do I know what to do since I never experienced a bold confession, because all the guys from before are just like Ruka-kun.

"Are you making a fool out of me?" I said coldly.

"Of course not!"he said.

"Anyways I got to go..." I said, but it didn't really affected me, nor did it affected him, since I made it clear before that I don't want to get engaged in to relationships. So, our days were like the usual until.

"Hey, Mikan..." Ruka called suddenly while I was talking with someone regarding the school's homework.

"Yeah? what is it?" I asked while I looked to his flushed face.

"Can I.... Can I have your cellphone number?" he asked. While I just looked at him. I'm not really used to giving guys my numbers, unless he's a relative or its because of school stuff. So, I did something somewhat odd.

"Hey, Nonoko..." I called out to the Sapphire-haired girl.

"Yeah?" she said with a perky smile.

"You have my number right?" I asked, while bunny boy stared at us.

"Yup..." she said as she smiled even more.

"Then...can you give your number to him when I leave?" I asked then turned to the animal lover. " Get my number from her..." I said apathetically and left.

And after that just 2 days after his best friend, Natsume came up to me... and also asked me for my number.

"Can I have your cellphone number?" He asked as his friend just stared at us. Ever since I met this guy, I'll had to admit... He was my type, but just a type so... I did something different to him as well.

"09282979485..." I said fast as I could. It was barely heard, as I tried to walk away with Anna.

"What?" he said as he take hold of my wrist. Then I just heaved a sigh and replied. A bit slower and but still inaudibly fast.

"09282979485..." But suprisingly he got it. And just smirked at me.

"Thanks..." he said while I just left quickly.

* * *

As the 3 of us hang out together always, it was evident that jealousy's in the air. As the 2 tried to do their own stunts, getting my attention. The other was carrying my bag, while the other bought me lunch. It was a very competitive between them. So one time me and Natsume texted.

Hey, we got into a fight again...

-Natsu

Why is that? Is it because of me again?

-Mikan ( I know it was blunt, but I can't act dense anymore since their fight was becoming exposed to the whole school)

Nope its not...

-Natsu

Jeez, people we're still in high school.. don't throw away your friendship because of me...

-Mikan

Me and Natsume really got closer, Ruka barely texted and me and it just lasted for an hour or lesser. Natsume and I never stopped talking like how Ruka and I passed notes. While Ruka and I passed notes, Natsume and I never stopped talking, you can call it tiring in my place since I'm multi-tasking, I write while I talk.

Then it was like any other day... the 3 of us hang out... 2 nights before that, Me and Natsume became the best of friends, but it also didn't erased the fact that he loved me, sometimes the topic of love crossed our paths but I didn't mind. Then Ruka came to me pushing back Natsume away from me, more like in a disrespectful way since we were taking.

"Mikan..." he started shyly while I just looked at him with my usual cold eyes.

"Can we be best friends?" he said as he gave his friend a look that says " You think I'm behind you...NOT A CHANCE..."

"Sure..."I said flashing him a small smile. Ever since Natsume and I got close, laughing and smiling became normal for me. This was the first time I felt like being free. But, I really can't forget one odd day.

It was lunch as I usually walk alone I came across the paths and greeted them with my gleeful smile.

"HI, RUKA AND NATSUME!!!" I said a bit energetically. Then Natsume just stared at me.

"What?" I said looking at him oddly. "Is there something on my face?"

"Nope... its just you look better when you frown..." he said. While I'm somehow irritated. I guess this guy doesn't want me happy. Then Ruka punched and gave him a glare.

"Don't listen to him... you look better when you smile, Mikan..." he said as he smiled to me while a light blush appeared on his face. While I smiled back at him and gave let out a tongue on Natsume.

* * *

But one fateful day came, it was raining very hard, there were no classes since it was a Saturday and the three of us we're in the middle of the Northern Forest as the 2 best friends got into a fist fight, while I tried to calm them down.

"YOU'RE SO UNFAIR NATSUME!" shouted Ruka as he pinned his friend to the tree. " I GOT INTO HER FIRST..." Then he punched Natsume's face.

"I'M SORRY...OKAY! I JUST CAN'T STOP FEELING THIS WAY..." Natsume shouted back at his friend while he pinned him down on the ground.

"GUYS STOP IT!!!" I cried out as tried pulling Natsume away as he was about to give a knuckle sandwich. "PLEASE STOP HURTING EACH OTHER YOU'RE BEST FRIENDS FOR GOODNESS SAKE!" And with that statement, Ruka looked at me, as if a bucket of ice water was thrown into him. Then he calmed down and pushed Natsume away.

"Mikan's right..." he said as pain became evident on his eyes.

"But, I know I had never said this to you before...Mikan, I love you... ever since you came to this school... you're the first one I love..." he said as he looked into my hazel pools that's now not dull. I was just speechless, I don't want to say a word, I was never good at handling things like this... neither do I want to hurt him.

"I'm sorry... " that's all I can say. "If it hurt you when me and Natsume got closer... I'm sorry... Natsume never left my side..." yes, those words, it was obvious, I liked Natsume more than him. And at those times, I wasn't aware that I was starting to like Natsume already. Then it became quiet while Ruka stood up from the wet ground while he helped his friend up from the muddy floor, then he stared to his eyes directly with a serious look on his face.

"Natsume, I'm taking a step back now... I'm giving up on her..." he said as his sapphire eyes became teary-eyed, but tears didn't fall. "Please take care of her... and I promise you... if you make her cry... I'll take her away from you..." then he smiled and walked away. Then Natsume looked at back at me. "Let's go back now..." and made our way back to the dorms. Ever since that day, Ruka stayed away from me, Natsume and Ruka rarely talked and Natsume stayed by my side always. He made me really happy, as my heart finally knew how to care, knew what happiness it, and knew other kinds of emotions as well. He thought me a lot as we grow together as besties as we both like to call it.

As I said before we always texted, lated call each other, then chat on the Yahoo! Messenger, and of course hang out on every second of the day in campus.

Time passed by, I became very well evident, of my affections towards Natsume, but... I never told him anything about at all, since I'm afraid to lose him though I know that he always loved me, but doubts arise which caused my heart to break. I didn't felt secure recently as problems escalated and tried hard to tore us apart. And the worst factor about all these things, due to my fear of losing him despite my feelings, I still acted the same way, cold as ice, or should I say hard as a stone. I can sense the pain in him as he see me still apathetic. But as much as I can, I never failed to express my love to him in small signs, I tried everything, but never did I say the most 3 powerful words directly to him.

Till the day came...

His texting lessened. And I waited until midnight even if I'm very tired... as I waited on my room... all night long... and receiving nothing my heart crushed.

As he calls me everyday, even if he's nagging me, even if I'm already crying... I still would love to here his voice that would melt my troubles away. But time passed, he also stopped calling me... and I still expected him to call, even if he's going to make me cry again, I'll be happy as long as he just called me. But, it never did, and it broke my heart even more. And by this I can say I really love him so and this is will be the first time I cried...FOR SOMEONE...

* * *

Then suddenly, as I thought it would be a regular day as usual, presently fighting became normal again, surprisingly he stopped talking to me. He just ran past me, along with the girl named Sumira Shouda. Never did I see Natsume talked to her for the last 2 years and now from out of the blue, he's actually talking to her as if they've known each other for years. Seeing them, so close and so friendly with each other, it was like arrows came flying towards my heart. This was the only time I've ever felt so much pain... Tears rolled down at my face... I can't hide it anymore, I keep on breaking down every second of the day, he's ignoring me now.

Then when we finally got the chance to talk I didn't hesitate and took my chance.

"Hey, Natsume.." I said as I tried hugging his arm while he coldly tried to get free from my grasp.

"GET OFF ME..." He said as the words pained my heart even more.

"Natsume, I thought you love me..." I said as tears rolled down your face. "And all this time, I've been loving you all the time, Natsume..."

"I'm sorry...Mikan..."he said as he held my shoulders and looked through my eyes, with an apologetic look on his face. " I just don't love you any more...." he said as he walked away, while I tried to chase him, " Natsume... wait .... please wait!" I said but in no avail... he left me.

Ever since that day, we never talked... and I never stopped crying ever since that day for weeks and even months.

But, after a painful year, we're back as friends, but never will our closeness be, I was nothing to him now... but gladly...

Never did I expect his texts...

Nor did I wait for a call...

Not even waited for him to be at my side...

I just don't care... as my heart became petrified of Love's aftermath...

But after this dreadful lesson of love, I was thankful enough that I learned how to feel, and care... still I tried to hide it again seal every care left in me, but never failed to smile....

This is a memory of mine that will always be engraved in my icebox...

* * *

Okay, well I know that was freakishly emo but hey... that was a true story...T.T...

And its obviously my story! Buwahahahaha!!...

Of course most of the events actually happened, but in a revised way....

And the poem yah its true, I just can't find the real one itself! So i took one from another website... this was actually made by Dave Stout hehehe...

But that poem was actually close to that, so that's the reason why I picked that one...

Well, I do hope that you enjoyed it lol,

The reason why I putted Natsume and Ruka as the main character is, I just can't pick from the two who Mikan should end up with! Lol...

and I didn't put genre's because If I did put... It won't be a mystery anymore...

anyways, please do read and review...

Oh yeah before I forget...the cp number I put there is really my number...lol XD

So its totally actual!!XD but... I don't use the sim but it's still with me... so when needed that's the time i use it, but its rare...

my present number now is 09228jory93

its personalize...uhuh...of course! hahaha..

I'm also open for critics:) and I'll be happy to revise this thing...:)

anyway, don't forget as well to read my other stories!!! C:

Thanks again!!! I love you all! Take care...


	2. Author's Note

Weeh!!!

Okay, I somehow didn't expect my one shot to be that long...Lol...

So sad...I know but its true... I bet some are you are thinking that its yaoi...lol since the main characters are Natsume and Ruka...(I hope not since its very well evident in the summary that its not) If you guys want I'll change it to Natsume and Mikan...or Ruka and Mikan... see... I can't choose! hahaha...XD

Anyway...

I would like to ask you reader's if your up for a series of the story petrified heart...

If you want...

all you need to do is submit a review and say I do...

for that....

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YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE!!! Buwahahahaha! Joke! Of course I will...

And by the way I'm up for another one shot...:)

I'll not tell the detail but I hope that you'd look forward to it...

by the way, this story(I mean petrified heart not the one I'm planning to make)... is somewhat connected to...

the (EVER SO LAME) free falling (another one shot of mine actually my first...)

and...

the light of my life (one shot...which is also lame...XD)

I don't know but as I look at my early work it all looks lame I also feel like deleting my only Kamichama Karin story since I'm no longer up for it...

But for my other one shots if I gained the urge... I'll revise it and hope that you guys would look forward to it... those stories were written year/s ago... and compared to now.... well... its really a big difference lol, especially on my writting...

So, I'm really looking for ways to improve...

anyway enough the chit chat... I'll be waiting C:

And of course its still based on what really happened to the 3 of usC:...

by the way... before I forget... there are actually glitches on the story...LolXD

I actually explained it to my editor -b-... (if you're reading my on going series you'll be familiar with him a bit)

Lol... anyways that's allC:

Thanks for the reviews by the way!!!C:

Glad you enjoyed it!!!


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